jokes for you =)
During a training course, I said to the instructor, "I don't know how I'll remember all this information."
"I've been using mind-mapping techniques for 20 years to help me memorise things," he told me. Intrigued by his techniques, I approached the instructor again later to ask more questions.
"Do you still do mind-mapping tuition?" I asked.
"Yes, I do," he said, looking surprised. "How did you know about that?"
******
One day, at a cafe, a woman called out. "My daughter's choking! She swallowed a coin! Please, anyone, help!"
Immediately, a man rushed up and said he was experienced in these situations. He calmly walked to the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arm around her and squeezed. Out popped the coin.
The man returned to the table as if nothing had happened.
"Thank you!" the mother cried. "Tell me, are you a doctor?"
"No," the man replied. "I work for the tax office."
******
A man walks into a bar and orders six whiskeys. Putting them in a row, he downs the first glass, then the third and finally, the fifth.
"Excuse me," the bartender says as the man turns to leave. "You left three glasses untouched."
"I know," the man says. "My doctor says it's ok to have the odd drink."
******
The businessman was self-conscious because he had no ears. So when he hired a manager, he asked each candidate, "Do you notice anythign unusual about me?"
The first replied, "You have no ears." He was shown the door. When the second candidate's response was the same, he was also tossed out. But the third guy had a different answer.
"You're wearing contact lenses," he said.
"how did you know?" the businessman gasped.
"Because people who have no ears have to wear contacts."