Jokes of the Day =) 1. Johnson, who always show up for work on time, comes in an hour late, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. "What happened to you? his boss asks."I fell down two flights of stairs," Johnson answers."That took you a whole hour???"2. Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck shop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate on the floor.Without a word of protest, the oldguy pays his bill and leaves. "Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers."Not much of a driver either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over 3 motorcycles."3. An elderly couple with memory problems are advised by their doctor to write notes to help them remember things.One evening, while watching tv, the wife asks her husband to get her a bowl of ice-cream. "Sure," he says."Write it down," she suggests. "No," he says. "I can remember a simple thing like that.""I also want strawberries and whipped cream," she says. "Write it down.""I don't need to write it down," he insists, heading to the kitchen.20 minutes later, he returns bearing a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs."I told you to write it down!" his wife says. "I wanted fried eggs!"4. You've got to help me," Farmer John told a council official. "Speeding drivers are killing my chickens."The next day, workers erected a sign near the farm: "Slow down - School Crossing."3 days later, John called again. "The sign's not helping. People ignore it."So the official sent out workers with a new sign: "Slow down - Children at Play."3 days later, Farmer John picked up the phone again. "That didn't work either. Can I make my own sign?"The official agreed. 3 weeks later, he called John back. "How's the new sign working for you?" he asked."Great!" the farmer replied. "Not a chicken has been killed since I put it up.""Really? What does the sign say?""Nudist Colony - Go Slow and Watch for Chicks."
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