_\*LuStre*/

Friday, May 23, 2008

Jokes of the Week :)

1. Rob and Tom apply for the same job. They take a written test.
"You both got the same number of questions wrong." the HR person tells them, "but Rob gets the job."
"If we both got the same number of questions wrong, how come he gets the job?" Tom asks indignantly.
"Well," says the HR person, "one of his incorrect answers was better than yours."
"How can that be?"
"For problem number 46, Rob wrote, 'I don't know.' You wrote, 'Me neither.' "

2. Following a funeral service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out of the church when they accidentally bump into a wall. From inside the coffin they heard a faint moan. Opening the lid, they find the man inside alive! He leaps out, performs a little jig, and lives another 10 years before eventually kneeling over.
Once again, a ceremony is conducted and at the end, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they head towards the doors of the church, the wife of the deceased leaps to her feet and shouts, "Watch the wall!"

3. When a lonely frog consults a fortune teller, he's told not to worry.
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" says the excited frog. "When will I meet her?"
"Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."

4. A family visiting a North American Indian reservation. They come across an old tribesman lying in the middle of the road with the side of his head pressed against the Tarmac.
"What are you doing?" asks the father.
The tribesman begins to speak. "Woman, late thirties, 3 kids, one barking dog, in 2003 Ford hatchback, travelling at 75km/h."
"That's amazing," exclaimed the father. "You can tell all that simply by listening to the ground?"
"No," said the old tribesman. "They just ran me over."

5. Norman is 90 years old and has played golf every day since retiring. But one evening, he arrives home looking downcast.
"I'm giving up," he says. "My eyesight's so bad that once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it has gone."
His sympathetic wife makes him a cup of tea. "Why don't you take Fred with you?"
"What use would your brother be?" sighs Norman. "He's 103."
"That may be," his wife says. "But his eyesight's perfect."
So, next day, Norman and Fred head off to the golf course. Norman tees up, takes an almighty swing and arrows down the fairway.
"Gosh, that felt good," he says. "Did you see where it went?"
"Of course," says Fred.
"So where is it?"
"I can't remember."

Reenxy @ 10:05 PM